To Heaven and Hell

I had been to heaven this morning, and went straight down to hell before afternoon. It doesn't seems that high quality product will be in my hand anyway. It is always owned by someone else before me. Bah~

Imbalance

I had been tried to seek out the balance in the time spending with my friends and my family all the while. Can say almost every weekend I had my dinner with my friends instead of with my family. Meanwhile, in between friends, I have to make different balance when dealing with different group of friends with different interest. It gave me such an headache sometimes when the organizing goes wrong and everything were blamed on me. People speak words that they don’t actually mean it for joking purpose but it will somehow lay an impact to those they spoken to if the words were harsh to them. It’s not easy to be the middle man to balance things up however it always me who got involved.

Back to the family part, I spent most of my time outside and during the time at home I’d just cling myself in front of the computer. I always got screwed by my dad that the home is just like a place for me to sleep only. Went for outings late at night, three to four p.m only come home. Simply because I can’t get a hold on my own time management. If I have my very own transport, I could easily make a balance on it. New semester started as well, I seriously need to refine my time management skill so that I could actually cope up with it since I see the new semester started in the new campus are rather much hectic than I had expected.

Anyhow, the main issue that had bugging me regarding this topic is still the time spent management with my friends and family. Hanging out with friends are sure fun but since nobody is paying for my expensive, it is somehow like drilling a hole on my own wallet. However keeping myself at home for a long period would have kill me as well. Hence, hanging outside once in a while(but I’m doing it very often) is a must…

Friends, and family… balancing…

Enter The College

After all the wandering, striving, errand running, deciding which college I should really walk in to since the local university application has turned me down twice and considering the financial status I’m current at, the final decision I’ve taken is get myself enrolled into HICT.

I enrolled into the January intake and there are 2 days of orientation with the freshmen on 4th and 5th of January. Orientation, what would I expect? A bunch of “fresh meats” enrolled together also of course! But unfortunately, it’s really like letting me down from heaven to hell! A total disappointment! Only 4/10 of the freshmen are female. And among the females, only 2/4 are Chinese which is both of them are transferred students from other college previously from HUC & Sunway College. Both type are over “Hiao” and totally not my kind of meat to devour. Yawn~

Wipe off the orientation part, classes finally get started. The first class I had was quite fortunate because I’m having the class with some familiar faces around, TuckLong and his gang was in the same class! It helped a lot so I won’t really have a phobia on the first class being all alone and strangers all around. The rest of the classes after that aren’t going that smooth as the timetable haven’t settle down. Classes keep on cancelled and there are times I went there for nothing. I went to check out the updates regarding my exempted subjects, they asked me to fill up another piece of form which they should ask me to fill it earlier. Now things are still pending, guess I should pending the fees as well. Hah!!

As all the classes has settle down, thinking I can finally go on a stable and scheduled routine at both college and working. Was quite happy with all the classes I had as I’m somehow longed for something like this. Until today, it really pissed me off. The day before today, yesterday, the student council president came into our class distributing invitation letters to us saying tomorrow will have an event for the freshmen and seniors for a deeper interaction made me have to wake up early in the morning to day while I hardly get some sleep in order to finish the tutorial given in the maths class yesterday. I’m so eager to get the answer today in order to know how much my brain has rusted. But somehow the event has took the time more than it stated, while the lecturer did mention yesterday that she don’t like her student to enter her class late. Most of the event organizer members are going into that class too, did not want to enter the class and rather staying at the platform shaking their booties. They even made a letter out requesting to change the lecturer, saying the lecturer not good enough. They made me missed out that class. I got frustrated myself thinking that college students nowadays only know how to complaint is it? They don’t really try their best in their studies and rather spend their time on the activities just to shake their booties. They just come here to have fun that’s all. By the time they get their results, if it’s not good enough, their probably would just go and complaint again thinking that is their rights. Duh~

Well, guess that’s all I could complaint so far. I still want the answers for the tutorial!!

Troubles

Ms.Kok been tried to appoint me for several times to help her in his assignment, more precise, to be her talent in his video assignment. Was okay for me as long as I’m free to do so. Finally, an appointment has been carried out on last Tuesday morning. She tagging along with the owner of the camera came to get me and we move to the place where she wants to shoot her stuff. So I just be like a puppet doll doing whatever she order, such as asking me dashing straight on for countless time while she shooting in a different angle. But shooting done in less than an hour. After troubling me for everything, treating me a lunch is something she must do. Just in time for McD lunch hour, she fetch me home after that then its time to go to work. Just as we’re about to reach my resident area, we heard some rotating sound coming from the rear right tyre. We stopped the car aside and check it out, a metal hook-like piece of thing poked deeply into the tyre. What else? I have to troubled again to change to tyre! show off~!! Haha!! And Ms.Kok claimed herself being bad luck recently, should eat more vegetables. LOL~ After done changing the tyre, fetch me home, then I’m off to work. End of story of that day.

As for the result troubling me, let’s have a look on the short clip of her assignment… You may laugh, myself laughing on my own stupidity~ LOL

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As for the title, here’s a short post to something really troublesome. Orochimaru suddenly shows up together with a chick and suddenly asking opinion on how to celebrate birthday for that particular chick. Great, i don’t see him organize birthday surprise for me before and i don’t even think he remember my birthday. Now he suddenly seek help from us for that chick. Asked me to book room for Neway. This mean will need to spend more on that day. Not to say reluctant to help, but I personally found that this “investment” is benefit-less for me because I don’t know her and I don’t feel like want to expand my connection any wider for now. Also I really don’t feel like spending that much as I predict will need to spend more when Christmas comes. Now I’m still considering whether should I attend or not… Uh~

Last Ride On 3980

The old rusty power ride that my mom used to drive always has finally been decided to sell it away. Although the appearance looks old and rusty, but the engine are undeniable, especially on the highway. Will reach the destined place faster than expected. And the rotate-able air-conditioner blower which amazed most of my friends.

I remember they say “I never see such thing before leh!!”
So I have an objective today, to drive the car to the dealer. Meanwhile, LeongChewWai who starring in RedCliff as ZhouYu and KokSang called me yesterday seeking for help to distribute some invitation letters to other schools. So this morning, I tag along with ChewWai and have a All-Around-Klang-School-Marathon in this particular ride that about to be sell away. This makes it a last ride for me in this car. Pump the ride before we move.
The number of letters we need to distribute surprised me though, it’s regarding a seminar that going to be held by this Sunday at HICT talking about study abroad for those SPM & STPM candidates. Schools that we have visited is… let’s see how much I can remember
1)Kwang Hwa – First stop, nervous, but the security guard was friendly. Met the counsellor, she asked a lot, expected from a Chinese teacher.
2)BukitKuda – We went Holland for forgot to turn left in time, and went Holland again while finding the counselling room. Malay teacher, easy go. She also amazed that an ex-student from that school was 1 of the person in charge for the event.
3)Samad – Another Malay counsellor, easy go. And we mentioned FREE ADMISSION for the first time.
4)ChungHwa – Found this school accidentally while looking for S.M.K.KampongJawa. We went deeper area for nothing. CW requested me to speak Chinese to them there. Chinese teacher again, ask this ask that, hard to answer also, but still she’s friendly.
5)KampongJawa – Finally found it. The counsellor are ball-less, asked us to inform the Pengetua, but like we would do that, we told him if anything happen just call the person in charge… LOL! We went to pump some fuel again scaring that we would jammed half way.
6)SriAndalas – Another Chinese teacher, but this asked how can she help instead of asking for more details, great. But she did asked us to pass the letter to the office which is quite troublesome also as the clerk in the office was somehow lack of efficiency.
7)BatuUnjur – A new school to visit, CW says there’s lots of LengluiS in that school, spotted a few of them though XD. But we hate the counsellor there for don’t want to take up the responsibility in helping to distribute to the students. “This is Interact Club event right? Go find Interact Club!” End up we troubled some small kids there bringing us up and down to find someone who can take in-charge for this.
8)RajaZarina – No security guards, but still we found the counselling room. At least the counsellor willing to receive the letter and try inform as many students as possible. I called my boss after that telling her that I’ll be late today after that.
9)LaSalle – Another friendly security guard, and we happens to met and ex-HighSchool teacher there. The students speaks fluent English there. We smelled something burning around my car that time, I thought maybe there’s someone burning garbage around there.
10)STAR – The security guard looks more like a drug-addicts to me, smoking there and simply let us in. The counselling room was quite grand there, a room in the middle of the school. The counsellor is friendly.
11)Convent – The moment CW get down from the car, he says:”KahFoong, your car bonnet smoking la!” Shit! I even saw some liquid leakage there. But we don’t care first, we went into Convent first. The counsellor has been informed about it by the Interact Club there, saved lots of works. Back to the car, I discovered that the leaked is not from the water tank but some oil from the air-conditioner system. So, it’ll be fine as long as I don’t switch on the air-conditioner. I still have windows!!
12)ACS – The last school we visit. CW tries to hide himself away from his friends there for don’t know what reason. And I’m surprised to met 1 of my colleague(Kumon teacher) who studying form 6 there. Was thinking to go MGS also but the time is not allowed, no more student will be around during that time. And we were somehow tired also for being barbequed in the car without air-conditioner and under the blazing sun.
It’s time to call and off after the errand running we had, there’s still some school we need to go though but the time is not enough. Fetched CW to pay his Delta fees and I bring the car the my uncle’s work shop to meet the dealer. As the car was not in a good condition, my uncle do some repair on it first. Never thought I would screw the car on my last ride on it, no wonder it was somehow lack of power today. After that, my uncle fetched me to work, end of the last ride on 3980…
And also good bye to the old rusty but powerful 3980…

Leave Me Alone

The thing I dislike the most in my daily life routine nowadays would be lecture by my dad every time we talk and the topic would be same every time. “Go get a proper and stable job and start working your ass out.” I know everything you tell me is for my future sake, I just listen and nodding my head. But do you really need to repeat the same thing over and over again every time you saw me? Is that the only topic you would talk over with me? Sometimes it really makes me feel like avoid talking to you.
I remember a Saturday with all my aunties, uncle and my dad gathered at my grandma’s house. I went there to get my lunch too and end up being lecture by the same thing again by everyone there.
“No study already go get a proper job la.”
“Go read newspaper, job’s everywhere for you”
“Got car already then make a good use to it, find a sales job”
“Look at all your cousins and brother, all come out work and able to buy themselves a car already”
”Find an airline job, like your bro and your cousins did”
With everyone armed with “machineguns”, all I can do is just nodding my head and smile. I have no idea myself how much longer I can stand this. I’m not saying a word because I found it’s useless as you all would counter back with whatever reason you have there, elders always win. Frankly, I hate it. Why must I get lectured all the time like this? Being looked down, is this because I didn’t secure a place in university? Everyone there never have faith to me, still treating me like an idiot who knows nothing. Can’t I just do it the way I want? When will you all stop lecturing me? Until I do what you all say? Give me a break!
The only time I felt alive would probably during the time I spent with my friends outside and working hour. This might be something only myself can understand. With friends, have fun and no worries. Working, hectic and busy but all I have to do is work, don’t have to worry about anything else. Every time I encounter case like this, I don’t really know who to share with, the best place to be would still be my blog, can type whatever I want…

Keep Fit, Stay Strong

Last Sunday, Sam organized a morning jogging session with 4 of us(Alex, Jason, Jeffre, & me) joins in. Leave the house early before dawn, it’s been a long while since the last time I came out the early, more like going to school last time. Start hiking on the hill of Taman Rakyat, still early, can’t recognize the roar well, blur.. As we reached the top, all became lazy and rest at the hut there and start crapping, not forgetting to peep around. As we can see the sun rise up high, we take off down the hill. Around 8am something, we left Taman Rakyat and went to Pappa Kopitiam located at Bukit Tinggi 2. Here I would like blacklist this place for having breakfast. The food price was 2 or 3 times more expensive than those coffee shop. It wouldn’t cost me more than 3 Ringgits if I have 2 Roti Bakar and a cup of Cham/YinYong at the normal coffee shop. But at here, it cost me 7 Ringgits for the same thing. Looking at the menu, Iced Cincau RM4.50, the cincau made from gold? It’s true that the deco inside was nice and it is probably the market price for cafe like this, but it still killing and I still want to complaint about it. Next, we went to exercise our fingers at the nearby cyber cafe. LOL… Then take lunch, then go Jeffre’s house take bath, then we go CC again joining with the others. Then everyone dismiss and go home. A day planned for jogging ended up worked out more on our fingers, great. How many calories burnt and how many we consumed back after 2 meals? Frankly, I felt we did not really work out much enough. Haven’t reach my limit of exhaustion. I remember once I play basketball with ChinSiong until my sight gone blackout lying on the court, that is what i call reaching the limit! XD

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p/s: Here I would like to share something not related to title but still I want to post this up.

Yesterday while working, I spotted a very familiar looking person sitting in front of the table of the boss. I heard people called her name, sounds familiar too. Her appearance resembles VERY MUCH the one who claims me I’m the one, but she’s not Billy Jeans yet who goes obsessed over me(I’ not bluffing, I did told my close friends about this case). But I turned her down and she never talks to me anymore. Somehow i felt guilty about this and when I saw someone that resemble her so much appeared, I was freaked out! The atmosphere was more likely my aura being overwhelming by her aura. Thinking how come she’d be at here? She’s a student here too? Gah!! Until my break time, while having meal with JuinGiap, I seek for confirmation of her identity from JuinGiap as he knows all the higher level students there. Luckily, she’s not the one I know. What a relief!! Think too much, misunderstood big time. Haha~

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According to the newspaper, H1N1 has strike Klang. We were required to wear the mask all the time while working. How troublesome, It feels better when not wearing it. But no choice, I saw many of the students been sneezing too. To all my friends out there, take good care of yourself. I see some have been suffocating with headache, sore throat, and sneezing. Ah Lian been sneezing all the time, the cause might be being backstabbed there, quite irritating sometimes haha. I even heard some has been admitted to the hospital for quarantine. Sure hope everyone is all right and nothing serious happen. Stay healthy! Stay strong! You will get through this!! =D

Bon Odori 2009

This year, probably is the worst Bon Odori I’ve even went. Planning suck shit! Lack of forces! No aura! No high! NO BIG FISH!!! As for planning, miscommunications occurred causing situation like I wait for you, you wait for me happened. Time being delayed causing us to be there late. Nobody to be blame on but myself for bad organizing. Luckily parking still can be found. We hardly group everyone up this time, some, facing exam soon, need to study, no choice. Another one, went for company’s event, impossible to make it in time. Last one, don’t feel like going, cannot do anything. The trio of the team this time, me, Jef, & Jason. Everyone being not in mood as our timing were really off tracks. Peoples has been crowded there when we arrived. Tried to join BoonKiat’s forces but he’s with his collage friends, we felt awkward so we refuse to join. Trying to catch some fishes(you know what I mean) around there but failed to do so as I can’t get my form on. 3 of us just walk, stand, & peep around only. My family who came along, took a picture together…

See how not in mood I am written on my face?
And this year, it’s very misty/hazy/sandy at the stalls section. Almost all the pictures I taken were covered by mist. Is it because this year the grass were covered by more sands? Random spammed some pictures.

Meeting after performance.

Japanese brats playing sand there.
Considering the time we remains there, we must catch some fish no matter what. At last, first catch…

Jason “Zhun Yap Ji Gou Geng Kai”

Jef’s turn…

Guess that’s all for this time. Oh yea, when BoonKiat looking at this photos, he shouted:”Oh My God!! Who is this fxxking girl!!”. And we answered:”Right behind you…” *ROFL*
After that, went Asia Cafe for the first time for dinner. Crap crap crap, come back Bukit Tinggi to have 1 round of Project-D. Then it’s a dismiss for all of us. Reach home by 12.30am, Great…

Today, my confident has strayed far far away from me. Hardly pump my guts out to ask those fishes for pictures. Guess it’s not just only tonight, the main cause for being not in mood there is probably realising myself sucks in decision making. Being too easy going to everything perhaps and don’t have the confident to strict things up. I need to change or else I’ll end up being a slowpoke all the time…

New Modem

Damn happy to regained the usage of own modem again. No need to steal modem from office every night in order to get online. The dealer service damn good also, they deliver it to my house by late night 11 something pm. Behold, my new wireless modem which cost me RM198.00!

The old modem below can be toss away already…

But this afternoon, my dad went show off by telling my aunties that we’ve bought a new modem. After I off work and went home, I’ve been summoned by them and started to fire their M-16 on me.
”How come modem will spoil!?”
”Why buy such expensive modem!?”
”Why don’t get a new promo package and get a new modem for free!?”
”You don’t know how to count ah!?”
”You could save more if you get the same package as mine!”
”Why don’t inquiry more before this!?”
”Because you lazy!!”
Like I care… Anyhow, I’m still happy with the new modem I have now, Wahahahaha~!!!

Confusion by Big Bro

I've drafted a half written version for this title earlier yesterday but I end up delete the draft thinking why should I complain so much. But this morning, something happened again and really made me want to make this post.

Yesterday midnight before I go to bed, my bro told me to wake him up by tomorrow morning 9a.m and make sure he's really awake. The next morning, I've tried to wake him up for a few times but he just reply "emm... zzz...". After I took my bath and try to wake him up again, he finally said something, "You don't patient in waking up people, you should come nearer and shake my shoulder but not poking my leg... zzz..."*dozed off again*. How I wish to toss the CPU right on to his head that time. This is the first time I heard such ridiculous stuff and the time already 9.30a.m, He probably going to blame me for not waking him up again if he's late for his appointment. This isn't the first time I encounter with his ridiculous phase anyway. There was once he saw me writing a post in my blog, he said:"Not until the day you stop blogging, you won't become mature, those who were mature enough will never really share everything with everyone using the blog". Yes, ridiculously not making sense for me, I believe myself to have the ability to state what kind of stuff were sharable in the blog and what should not. Ever since from my childhood, my bro told me tons of stuff and advices, I did believe in some of it and even make some of it as my rules of life. But after some time passes, he showed me the reverse kind of action from what he told me. Such as...
"Drive slowly" - I saw him speeding always.
"No girl won't die 1" - He will do crazy stuff whenever he's on love operation, bake cakes, make lantern, etc.
"PC at home should never use for gaming" - He installed Gunbound & Left4Dead.
"Go UTAR" - After i registered, he told me we can't effort it.
...and many more. This is why I was like so confuse sometimes about everything he said. Can't really make sure whether what he said is the right thing or not. But anyway, he's still the only big bro i have. Guess I'll just listen whatever he said and try my best to make it clear myself.

Writing it all out do makes me feel better =D. I think I've made a similar post regarding to my father before this, I think I might complain more... XD

Sunway Incident

Yesterday was Jason’s 65th TOA Graduate Exhibition night (something like all the students who finished their course publishing their masterpiece there) and he invited us to his college there.

That day after work, I went to take RapidKL with BoonKiat to Sunway area as everyone already waiting for us. In the bus, there’s only 3 chinese. Me, BoonKiat, and a weirdo wearing specs. When the bus reached Subang Parade, we were told by that weirdo that we need to take another ride to reach Sunway Pyramid. Thanks for the info and all the passengers been evacuated. Both of us took the next ride to get to our destination, that weirdo took the same bus with us again and he sat beside us with the pass way in between and he started talking with BoonKiat,
”Where you guys from?”
”Study or working?”
”How old you guys were?”
I don’t give a damn about that weirdo’s presence. Finally reached Sunway Pyramid, but unfortunately he left the bus at the same spot with us. It took us some time to walk ourselves to the rendezvous place, he still tagged along all the way. That weirdo did talk to me also and his name is Alex. As we’re about to reach our destination, he asked for BoonKiat’s number, but BoonKiat asked back for his number instead and did not expose his own number. Next, he asked for my number as well. I was somehow to entertain him more and just told him my number just don’t want to have more conversation with him. And finally, he’s apart from us.

At Yuen Steamboat Buffet Restaurant, Wilson and the rest already start serving themselves, it’s time for both of us to feast too. Not long after I start tucking food into my mouth, I received a text from Alex the weirdo saying “Nice to meet you, Benjamin is your name, correct?”. I’ve been having a bad feeling after I gave him my number just now. Never mind, I’ll just reply him once I think. I replied him “Nice to meet you too” that all. He replied again and I already told myself not to reply anymore and continue my meal. After finished our meal by 9.30pm, we make our move to TOA to meet up with Jason for his exhibition. While on the way there, I received another text from him “Finished your party there already? Going back to Klang?”. I ignore again and started to feel disgusted.

First time went to TOA.

Jason’s work, advertise for Pos Malaysia?

Inside the exhibition.

Interior Design model.

Some of the showcase there.

There’s more stunning and awesome art work in there but I don’t really dare to take out my camera to snap more pictures there as I saw everyone with camera there was using those Canon EOS type of camera (big, black, heavy, with super lens and flasher kind). So didn’t take much relevant pictures there. We all left there by around 10.45pm.

While on the way home, I received a text again and it really freaks me out before I open it. Open it up, it’s a reply from the birthday girl for wishing her. Big relief~ And immediately, my phone buzzed for a message received again. It’s Alex the weirdo again!! Argh!!! Sent me a forward message and again, I ignore. Even the Dato’s granddaughter also I did not entertain much last time, like the hell I’d entertain you. Think I’m cruel? Maybe, but you are just a stranger. I don’t care. Anyhow I’ve learned something that day, “Never give your number to a stranger that easily”. The reason you were trying to keep me in contact probably related to your work or business looking for a wider community, I won’t be your prey. Or maybe you were just trying to make more friends, but sorry I did not intend to widen my friends community for now. I am Benji-Sama!

Working #6

Working over time again just now(Wednesday). Let me share something something that I’ve learned today while talking with that courier service captain. After he finished uploading all the stock up, he was resting there and started to share some phase with me…

If want to be successful in our life, we cannot give too much opinion. As you giving out too much of your own opinion and keep cutting down words that the others want to say, you’ll lost the opportunity to learn from the others as well. If you willing to listen, you might learn something new. As the more you listen, the more you’ll learn. And someday, you’d become someone who knows a lot and multitask capable.

Another words from him, 言动不如身动. Direct translate in words by words is “Word move why not body move”. If someone can like just saying what big steps he going to take and so whatever, why not take some particular action to fulfil what he’s saying?

He spoke in Hokkien of course and somehow I think those phase suits my dad a lot. *ROFL*

While working over time, I was damn irritated with those children brought along by their parents and just leave them there while having their own meeting. WTH do I look like a babysitter to you? If those children knows how to behave themselves I won’t mind. But they were like some tiny Godzilas!! Jumping around the chairs and keep making mess on the counter. One of them Intend to enter the counter but I stopped him, end up he said something wish I don’t like. I pushed him out from the counter door and he straight away give me a kick! Argh!!! I want to throw him out from the office already but his bloody parents still inside the meeting room. Cannot do anything but endure and hoping the clock to tic faster…

After off work by 10pm, I went Mamak with JuinGiap and WengSheng as for my dinner/supper. Alright, JuinGiap is back, guess it’s time for The Return of the Ultra-Braderz season 4 to begin… HoHo~

Growing Mushroom

Been ducking in the house doing nothing for days.
Wake up late by 12pm and still can fall asleep at 2pm.
Switched on the computer and staring the desktop until the screen saver appear.
Until I move my finger, I could just open up my blog here and do nothing.
Am I awake? Perhaps... no.
My mind still stirring though, thinking that there's something I've been wanted to do.
But still hard to motivate myself to move.
I saw the others keep moving to a more advanced life style already.
Even for Sam & Her Seng.
Looking back to myself, I'm still not moving.
Time being wasted.
My previous boss called me back, asking whether I would like to come back there to help out or not after found out that I lied to them saying I'm going to study.
Should I return? Is that wise?
Does it means that I'm still standing on the same spot?
Was meant to find a better job.
But until today, I'm still jobless.
Dumb ass...

Became my bro's driver again today.
Driving skill not aggressive enough.
Can't really cut in the line in the right time and end up jammed there.
Lack of practice perhaps.
So what I'm do best?
Doing maid's work maybe.
Helped my bro to buy some stationary.
A wrapping paper with some heart pattern on it is the main item.
For valentine day use.
What is valentine? Edible? Duh~
Enough crapping for today.
Might still growing mushroom though.
Yawn...

Opps! I Did It Again

Once again, I've got my stock screwed up! It sucks!
I have to go through another brainstorming to figure out why the stock quantity wasn't in the correct order. Keep being 'soal-siasat' by my supervisor. Big pressure!!
But what she says is right, I'm damn weak in memorizing and recording. That's the fact that makes me lost count on my stock.
Come to think about it, I AM a very forgetful person! Probably being lazy to remember it.
This is one very bad attitude that I have to change about myself.
Another fact that makes me lost performance would be...
I've lost commitment to my job here.
Knowing myself gonna leave here soon, I'm being laid back.
This is yet another attitude I must throw away.
Since this is the last month I'll be working here, I should give it my best till the end and make no more mistake!

You Say It All

Having a dream...
You used to tell me being a human we must always have a dream. Keeping dreaming about it and it will come true. Now you end up nothing and telling me those who having ambition such as 'I wanna be an engineer!' 'I wanna be an artist!' blah blah blah... It's all bullshit? What's the different between dream and ambition? Now who's bullshit-ing?

If can study, go for it...
You used to tell me if I can pursue my study, go for it. You'll support me with all the power you have. Now it seems like you're powerless, and you started to convince me not to start studying again that soon due the situation we having right now. The words you gave previously was bullshit as well?

Respect...
You used to tell me must respect everyone around us. Not only others but to ourselves as well. Find the way to make ourselves happy. I've found the way to do so, but you drag my spirit down by simply criticizing whatever I did. Have you ever pay a shit respect on me? You probably just want me to respect you and keep teaching me lesson and lecturing me. Yes I'm paying you my respect, by being silent. I demand respect too, have you ever listen to what I wanna tell? No! You always assume what I'd probably thinking and start lecturing.

Confident...
You used to tell me we must have confident in no matter what we do. Since everything I did you would just criticize it. How should I regain my confident like that? Now, anything I wanted to do, I have to do it without your acknowledgement. And you accuse me that I do not share my thought with you. Are you being sharable enough? You probably gonna criticize my thoughts again and trying to teach me what to do. Despite on that, how can I still get to gain my confident? When was the last time you said "Well done" to me?

You being the Mr.Right, you say it all. I can do nothing but enduring...

F x 3

F x 3 = FFF = Financially Fucked-up Family.
In 3 cases below...

1)Having a salary of 2000 a month. But it's spent on nothing but covering the interest for credit card debt. For the interest only, it has taken up the whole month salary. It seems like it's a never ending debts. Ouch~!!

2)Having a salary of 1200 a month. 50% of it has been used to cover up all the bils and necessary expenses. The rest of it has been used to create miracles from places such as Toto, Magnum, and 3D. No savings can be fund.

3)Being a newbie on the working frontline and a salary of 1700 a month. A 1000 for the usage on his petrol & toll passing. Being the Mr.Standing on Top of Everything had himself fully utilized when using the rest of his salary. Whether he did save for himself or not, I don't know.

While for myself, having a salary of 900 a month. Other then spending to have fun hanging outside with friends which doesn't really seems very costy, no money can be seen in my bank even I have been worked for 9 months. Where is my money?

In such situation, I'm somehow feeling doubtful about whether I still can continue my study or not. Frankly, who can I rely on?

p/s: to those who don't really have the similiar situation with me yet still complaining about how jerkful their family is, I FUCK YOU! You should be blessful that your family did not causing any trouble for you and still covering up your expenses. The next time you see your family, hug them and say I LOVE YOU and thanks for everything they had done to make you such a great person today. Appreciate your family before it get fucked-up...

Screw Me

It's a public holiday and I'm being a bad boy today.
My mom ask me to go help out my uncle which is my ex-boss but I turn up having Project-D with my fellow Brotherz.
Not being helpful at all for my ex-boss but I don't really care.
It's a holiday and I should spend my time for Me, Myself, & I.
Screw me~

Back home, I've planned to go out for a night tea with my friends.
I finish my dinner in a rush at my grandmother's house which is just next door to me.
While stepping out of her door, I've been shot by my grandma with her machine-gun with the assist of my aunt.
"You just came here and eat then go back everyday"
"You never really wanted to sit and chat with me"
"You rather spend your time at your mother side grandmother house than being here"
"You have hanged out whole day outside and still wanna go out later"
"I jealous"
"I 80 years old already still cook for you all, you should be thankful"
"I have became enemy with your uncle for cooking for you all"
"I am the one who raise you up all these while"
It's not that I'm not appreciate all the efforts that you-grandma have given in making such a big guy now. But is that necessary to say words in this time? Although you're old but can you stop being so conservative? Do I chat a lot with my mother side grandma? Did I ask you to became an enemy for my uncle? I'm 20 years old and do you still have to investigate wherever I go? whatever I do? whoever I'm being with? What are you jealousing about? And the way you speak those words was totally not sweet. I can do nothing but to wait until you finish all your words although it wasn't nice to hear. This world ain't about getting back how much for how much you have given. Don't challenge my endurance until I show you disrespect.
I really wish I can have more time to stay at home with you.
I really wish I can learn some cooking skill from you.
Unfortunenatly I only got 24 hours a day.
So please be understanding.
Screw me~

By escaping from my dad and grandma, I just went out and ride on a black Myvi which already waiting me outside and flee from all the troubles for a moment. Now it's makes me feel like wanna live somewhere outside and being independent for a moment. I don't feel happy with the way my elders speak to me at home.
Screw me~

Sam's Birthday Celebration

A suprise party for him by using the excuse "Project-D", we have succeed in luring Sam out by yesterday night. Thank him for being my driver again. We met up with Jeffre at Warnet and we had our dinner(Jeffre is the only one eating) at Station1 Meru. I went to meet up with Jason then without their notification at LianBee's Cake House and brought a birthday cake, then we back to Station1 pretending nothing happened. With 4 of us together, we went to 2net to have a game while waiting for TuckLong & Eugene's arrival. Later then when TuckLong & Eugene reached us, they joined us for another game. After the end of game, it's time to run the main objective of the night. Sam's birthday celebration.


We have round 2 at Station1 Meru, and before I start telling about Sam I would like to complain about the food & beverage we have there.

Eugene ordered this ICED Honey Milk and seems like 70% of the glass are really filled with ICE.

The RedBeanPassion which cost me RM8.90 became this after a few stir and 2 sips.

A bucket of FrenchFries cost RM10.00.(The picture shows half eaten and it's Jeffre's treat, thanks!)

Jeffre rather get his supper from the opposite burger stall. End of complains.

Eventually, we're just playing poker there. Until the clock strike 12, BoonKiat as a waiter there bring the cake out and we started to sing Birthday Songs(Eng, BM, Canto & Mandrin). A very simple coffee mocha cakethat can easily get from LianBee Cake House.

While the cake still in one piece, we all took a picture together. I must say, the picture taken are lack of focus. The waiter should brush up their snaping skills.

I have edit it.

Every year in our own birthday, we'll make a wish...

And been punished.

The 1st strike of punishment ain't enough much of impact. But we still take pictures of it.

Sam are proud with his face with red cream.

And he encountered with his ultimate"D"rival.


And we gave him 2nd strike on his face and it looks like this...

A night which is quite enjoyful. After the birthday celebration, we all visit 2net once more for a last battle of the night. I gave Sam a FirstBlood as a birthday present. By around 2a.m, the game ended and we all sets off back to home.

Here's a little profile for the birthday boy of the day.His name is Sam Lim Chen Hong. SAM means [S]ingle, [A]vailable, & [M]olest-able. We gave him a nickname as OldBird as he has such mature looking face and he's the first among us who get a driving license. He's driving skill are so reliable although he knocked a big pillar once while reversing his ProtonSaga. Everytime asking for his help, The Noble Sam wouldn't say NO for much especially when you asking him to give you a ride. Such friend, where to find? And lastly, Happy Birthday to Sam.

The Eyes of Demon

Been months I having these corns or they call it "Kai Ngan"(Eye of chicken) in Cantonese on my left feet. I called them Eyes of Demon. But these eyes did not grant me super strength, high intelligent, extreme agility, or any blessful luck but a pain on my left feet in every steps I take. I barely stomp my left feet on the floor in full force ever since I got these eyes. Is it because I'm affraid of the the pain? The healing process hurts me more with some special formula of medicine used to rub on it. The medicine will like rot my skin but yet I don't know whether it really helps or not. This has somehow reflected the real me, did not dare to take the next step which knowing it will cause me pain. But no one knows whether the pain would bring me something fruitful as exchange or not.
A picture tells a thousand words, below is recent look of the bottom of my left feet.

The medication process...

If my left feet would be heal as soon as possible, I swear I'll love myself more. Starting by buying myself a better pair of shoe.

Over Time

For 3 consercutive working days, I have to work for over time. I'm seriously felt so exhausted and do not wish to work anymore. For the 1st day over time(last Friday), I was thinking "Alright, I deserved this" for I've got myself enjoyed for extra lunch hour as what my previous post did. Got myself stayed back at the office till 10p.m until all those distributors finish their meeting. 2nd day of over time(last Saturday), not particularly a serious case though but anyhow I worked for extra 2 hours. But it's okay, I've somehow get used for every Saturday to stay back for a couple of hour. Thank god I still got my Sunday to atleast take a break. Today, it was insane! Start working by 10a.m and off work by 10p.m. What the hell? I've spent 12 hours in the office? I suppose to off work by 6p.m! Extra 4 hours of working! What have got us staying up till so late in the office? Thanks to all those distributors who summit their order forms in the last minutes before the closing for June. Their order forms come in a big whole stack! Imagine 3 computers are on work yet still unable to finish key-in'em all. But the main reason we have to stay up so late is because we can't really settle the payment of the day. We got extra credit card payments, short of cash, and many more problems. By just counting the sales of the day has consumed 3 hours of us for the money on hand doesn't match with the amount online. Damn it was stress enough counting'em plus I was so hungry and exhausted(Haven't get my dinner yet). Tomorrow gotta settle them all as soon as possible.

While taking the stress working over time, I was thinking... Shouldn't I be at somewhere else than working here stressfully right now? If only I was success in taking place in local Uni, I should be free from all these stress I'm having now. But come to think about it, who to blame? No one else but myself for not studying well enough? I've realised my fault, will I get a second chance?